Yes, hopeful…but that doesn’t even begin to describe it. After years of struggle and confusion, my compass being completely broken and my sense of direction muted by chaos…I am at the edge of the cliff about to jump. I have always been one of those people who wanted to change their lives, but woke up each morning to complete the same monotonous routine without fail, dying inside…snuffing out my creativity. Now my entire being is brimming with hope. I see my life unfolding into a storybook fit for the grandest bookshelf…one I couldn’t have written better myself. Through my bitterness, stubborness, and resentment – I’ve somehow been blessed. I have reached this place where I can let go and find freedom in my heart, in my soul. A smile cracks. The eyes drift to a scene outside my window where a bird perches on the fence. “You know how I feel.” Perched…ready…about to take flight. Not exactly sure what’s coming but knowing it’s been a long time coming…feeling that energy bubble within…on the brink, ready to spread my wings and let the wind carry me. My compass is no longer broken. It points to the blue sky above, the only direction worth going. I am joined by a man holding a blue marble in his hand. We are in this together, hands entwined, deep breaths, smiles, our feet lifting from the ground, and the very air we breathe embraces us…warm, gentle. We are no longer falling…we are rising. And I am hopeful.
Such is the way of the world
You can never know
Just where to put all your faith
And how will it growGonna rise up
Burning black holes in dark memories
Gonna rise up
Turning mistakes into goldSuch is the passage of time
Too fast to fold
Suddenly swallowed by signs
Low and beholdGonna rise up
Find my direction magnetically
Gonna rise up
Throw down my ace in the holeRise – Eddie Vedder
You really should write a book and it really should be on grand bookshelves everywhere!
Kellie, one day you will write that book. i just know it!